What you need to know when you feel unappreciated
Recently I attended an event where recognition and praise were heaped upon a few individuals while many who had put in a phenomenal effort seemed to be forgotten. The applause for them was silent and the silence was deafening. It’s an empty feeling of being unappreciated that most of us can relate to. We work hard for our families, our employers, or even on self-improvement but sometimes it can feel like no one notices or cares about our effort.
This week as I pondered the the times in life when we feel unappreciated my thoughts were interrupted by a unexpected lesson in personal impact from an extremely unlikely source…. a conversation about cantaloupe.
The other day my son shared a memory that he recently remembered. Several years ago he went to the fridge to get a slice of cantaloupe only to find there was only one piece left. He turned and asked if I wanted it. My reply surprised him. “No thank you, I don’t like cantaloupe.” Up until that point he had assumed that I enjoyed it as much as he did because I bought it and prepared the way I did. But, in that moment, he realized I didn’t do it for me.
Until our conversation, I didn’t know that my fruit slicing practice had left an impact, but it did. My simple act of scooping out the seeds and having it grab-and-go ready said “You matter. I care. And, you are loved”
It also left me with some wisdom for when we feel unappreciated or overlooked for what we do.
1. Silence does not equal unnoticed.
Sometimes it feels as though no one notices our efforts. We can do our best or maybe go above and beyond only to find the resulting silence deafening. There’s no ‘ata boy, or way to go at the other end of the hard work. It’s almost as though the universe left us hanging with a high five… our hand in the air ready to celebrate but no one on the other side to reciprocate. But don’t mistake a lack of applause for being unnoticed. You never know who is watching or how they will be impacted by your choice to act with kindness, integrity, and compassion. Don’t do what is right for applause, do what is right because it’s the right thing to do, even if you’re the only one cheering when you’re done.
2. Silence doesn’t equal no impact.
When you don’t receive a thank you or you don’t see appreciation, don’t underestimate the impact you’ve had. I’ve sliced cantaloupe for years and never knew that it provided an example of a simple selfless act of caring to my son. When work hard and share compassion, others will be impacted by your efforts even if you never get a single acknowledgement. Refuse to confuse a lack of affirmation for a lack of impact. Keep being kind and caring while doing your best. You will have an impact!
3. Past silence does not determine your potential.
You future and your potential are not based on the amount of applause you’ve received. God’s purpose for you is not dependent upon who has or hasn’t noticed your efforts or potential in the past. Don’t let someone’s opinion or lack of recognition limit your view of your future. Just because they couldn’t see your value doesn’t change God’s purpose for you.
It’s your turn:
Have you ever been disappointed by not being acknowledged or recognized for your efforts? How did the silence impact you? How were you able to shake it off? The next time you feel unnoticed or unappreciated, remember my story of sliced cantaloupe. Just because you don’t hear feedback at the time doesn’t mean your efforts were unnoticed or that they lacked impact. Refuse to let the feeling of being unnoticed discourage you. The future is bright friend. Don’t let a situation of lack of recognition keep you from being the best you!
If this encouraged you, I’d love to hear from you. Click to comment and let me know what you think.
Until next time friends, be blessed!
This is just what I needed to hear.
It encouraged me very much. Thank You for sharing.
Linda, I’m so glad you were encouraged. Thank you for letting me know. I think far too often in life we can feel like no one sees what we do. Be encouraged knowing you’re appreciated, even when no one says it out loud. Blessings!
Important 3 truths on when we feel unappreciated
May it truly encourage someone today
Thank you Diana, that’s my sincere hope!
I have a cantaloupe in the fridge right now, it was my mother’s craving while she was pregnant with me and she still loves them. Here in the south, they are good with scrambled eggs and toast, or biscuits and gravy, just so you’d know. I will remember the cantaloupe when I feel like that, I know we all make a difference and it is the enemy’s lie that we are not to deceive us and make us quit sharing. thanks, Susan.
Rebecca, Thanks for sharing… I didn’t know it was good with scrambled eggs and biscuits. I may have to give that a try some time. Who knows maybe I’ll take a liking to it. Yes the enemy loves to lie to us. We need to be careful not to listen. Blessings.
Love the conversation with your son and how God used it to give you wisdom. These are great truths to remember when we feel unappreciated.
Thanks Valerie. He and I have some good mom – son conversations. This one will stick with me for quite some time! blessings.
Unfortunately facing this issue and feelings at church this week, so your message is timely. It is hard not to feel like retreating when your efforts are unappreciated but I know that the Lord’s leading and opinion are worth more than one or two men. Thanks for your encouragement to press on and keep our purpose in mind!
Jennifer sorry this one hit home this week, especially at church. I think the feeling of being unappreciated is one of the enemy’s biggest weapons. If he can get us to back off and let go, he wins. Praying you feel God’s blessings upon what you are doing and He encourages your heart when the appreciation around you feels silent. Blessings friend!
This could not be more spot on. It’s so easy to equate our worth or value by others’ feedback. And sadly, because the other people in our life are also human–they don’t always come through for us in the way that we need. This is such a needed reminder! Sharing!
Thank you Susan. You are so right… we equate it to worth. It’s a slippery slope we all entertain occasionally. We have to be mindful that we don’t step on that path and it pulls us away from really making a difference. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for.the message, but it has not helped me, besides the unappreciated moments, constant reminder of my mistakes ( while I know I have tried to correct them or learn from it) is to no avail. Constant reminders are tiring and I have no where to turn for something new due to covid, it is devastating. I am stuck..Now I take it personal
Sometimes there is no tact. Diplomacy should always rule the day when underscoring any error. A little thoughtfulness goes a long way. A pleasant comment or a compliment can take the sting out of what might otherwise be considered a harsh and unwarranted rebuke, not in my case.
Constant reminders of mistakes does not feel unappreciated, it sounds emotionally abusive. I don’t know your situation, but it sounds like you may be dealing with that based on the little you share. My ex-husband was quick to point out where I did something “wrong” and tell me I’d be nothing without him. I put wrong in quotes because just because we do something different than someone else doesn’t mean it’s wrong. And, we are all human. We will make mistakes. No one should be held to a standard of being perfect. The hotline.org is a great resource to understand more about abuse. Emotional abuse IS abuse. I hope you find friends and people who will both support you and appreciate you.